The Desiccation of Wit

Sunday, April 16, 2006

to half and to hold

I know that when the Treasury Secretary thinks of halves, his pie is spilt into 99% and 1%. (I can only assume the 1% is green.) I also know he's a moron.

But America is the land of opportunity, and so no matter who we are, no matter how many moronic speeches officials of the Bush administration give, I think some part of all of us still believes that we can be anything: the President (perhaps! see above), an astronaut, a billionaire.

Then I actually read about that half/1% and realize: it's never going to happen. Oh, sure, some of us will make more money than others. Someone we know will probably make their first million before thirty. (Probably not someone with a BA in the humanities-- but you never know.) Yet no matter how much bootstrap-pulling-up-by might be accomplished, there are some dizzying heights I just don't think I'll ever manage to scale.

Case in point: the following sentence from a NYT article about the heir to the Kreiss furniture fortune who is proving that he's "an heir with a mind of his own." (You probably didn't know the Kreiss furniture fortune existed, did you? You East Coast peon.)

Mr. Kreiss writes his graphic novels on his BlackBerry while working out on an elliptical trainer at the gym.
[Edited in response to a very good question from Des to point out that Mr. Kreiss only writes his graphic novels. He hires other people to illustrate them. Probably because you can't draw straight lines on an exercise machine.]

That gurgling you hear, ladies and gents, is the sounds of all my high society aspirations collectively drowning their disappointment in cheap wine. Is it too late to become an astronaut? How about to get rich quick in a turnaround scheme that sees me sell Canal Street knockoffs out of the trunk of my (theoretical) car to people in Iowa?


Blogger super des said...

how do you write a graphic novel on a blackberry? damn furniture heirs.

12:00 AM, April 17, 2006  
Blogger BestRapperAlive said...

The American Dream lives. see below

7:10 PM, April 17, 2006  

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