The Desiccation of Wit

Monday, March 20, 2006

A very mean man just did a very, very bad thing to my head. This is why I never get haircuts. When I was in college I went to get a haircut in anticipation of a job interview. It was a telephone interview, but nevertheless. I went to the International Barber Shop in Princeton and the 'international' barber had apparently never seen Jewish hair before and kept cutting and cutting until there were no more curls to be seen. I just sat there, of course, like a Bonsai shrub. My roommate didn't recognize me. Really.

I never know what to say.

Today I made a return trip to the Ecuadorian establishment on 18th Street that serviced me adequately around New Year's time. The certificate on the wall from the City of New York licenses them to partake in 'Appearance Enhancement,' but not to 'Provide Services,' which is a dubious euphemism at best. I was happy with my previous haircut but my barber smelled very potently of something unnatural, though I can't remember quite what, so I was happy today to get the other guy.

As it turned out, he fancied himself quite the auteur des cheveux. After a cursory initial inquisition, he proceeded to completely ignore my wishes. Moreover, he actively discouraged my participation, telling me to 'shush' when I asked him whether, perhaps, he thought he'd returned to a certain area one too many times; brushing my hand out of the way when I deigned to run it through my erstwhile back locks.

He did ask me how I'd like the sides done -- not, of course, using any words, but with the universal barber shop semiotic of 'I'll-run-my-fingers-over-and-past-your-ears-and-nod-until-you-nod-back'.

I never know what to say.

My father and stepmother were just in Ecuador, on their way to the Galapagos. I don't think they were in Guayaquil. Want to hear about a Guy I'll Kill? You just heard it.

Before and After photos to come, once Blogspot stops rejecting them.


Blogger Radio said...

What can you say? For some reason when a man has scissors and a razor and is holding them near your head it's hard to come up with anything that might be percieved as critical.

10:29 AM, March 21, 2006  
Blogger dw said...

Oh, it's plenty easy to come up with criticisms. It's just a bit challenging to vocalise them.

10:38 AM, March 21, 2006  
Blogger super des said...

I got my hair cut, and I didn't have an experience likr this.

10:45 AM, March 26, 2006  
Anonymous jen said...

aww, i kinda like it. It makes you look even more like a duckling.

2:21 PM, March 29, 2006  

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