The Desiccation of Wit

Thursday, August 31, 2006

welcome back

First there were suits. Then there was competitive phone call answering. Now there is reading and all the old routines. God sent rain to remind us that the summer is officially over.

Should you need to take your mind off the grind, go watch the boys at Top Gear do Pimp My Ride British-stylee with a Lada.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Status Report

1. Lex and I are on hiati (unenforced) until roughly September.

2. Hiati: Probably not a word.

3. Hiati: Not a misspelling of Haiti, either.

4. Co-religionary: Not really a word, even though it was used on 'Meet the Press' yesterday. OED cites it to 1929, and never again.

5. "Kim has reduced the average height of a North Korean adult by three inches." Newt Gingrich, yesterday, "Meet the Press".

6. My suspicion is that Kim has done worse things, unless this shortening was done with torturous devices or sharp downward strokes on the top of the head, rather than as a result of malnutrition, which is my suspicion.

7. Had he actually figured out a way to shrink people by smothering them in lard, that would've been quite a trick.

8. I have a cat. Her name is Hannah Albin Countergambit. She's half mine, and half not mine. The left foreleg and left torso are mine, in particular. None of the three of us play chess.

Monday, June 12, 2006

the bite of a dog into a stone

Now, that we have enough distance from the law for it to once again be amusing...

From msnbc.

TAMPA, Fla. - A federal judge, miffed at the inability of opposing attorneys to agree on even the slightest details of a lawsuit, ordered them to settle their latest dispute with a game of “rock, paper, scissors.”

The argument was over a location to take the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance lawsuit.

In an order signed Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell scolded both sides and ordered them to meet at a neutral location at 4 p.m. June 30 to play a round of the hand-gesture game often used to settle childhood disputes. If they can’t agree on the neutral location, he said, they’ll play on the steps of the federal courthouse.

Thursday, May 04, 2006


Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks?


What's the black-humored debut film about a high-school dick and a sexy chick?


Who's that guy in the aforementioned film playing Assistant Vice Principal Gary Trueman?


Go see Brick. See it today. See it tomorrow. Don't wait to see it until it's got the 'cult film' label; help give it that label.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

best of

Current front-runner in the contest for Best Congressperson Name:
From Wisconsin's fightin' 7th: Representative Dave Obey.
Because nothing reads as well as "the Ranking Member, Rep. Obey."

Official Blog Seabird

Clearly, the Ohio Penguin is our Official Blog Seabird. No two ways about it. But what's with the scarf? It can't be that cold in Youngstown. Certainly he could huddle for warmth in an abandoned steel mill, if necessary, wouldn't you think?

Monday, April 24, 2006

Some things...

1. It is rare that something I read will make me laugh out loud. No, for those of you whom it may concern, I do not do so to provoke you to ask me, "What's so funny over there?". But, Lex, you're way off base about last week's New Yorker, which was frankly hilarious, particularly the piece about the development of maps and map-making technology (citing SNL's "Lazy Sunday" sketch) and Anthony Lane's journal of his excursion to Vitoria-Gastez (which, from firsthand knowledge, I can attest is in fact in the Basque region of Spain) and the other ups and downs of budget in-continent air travel. (I'd be curious to know what his experiences have been regarding un-hyphenated incontinent travel on low-cost providers.) So, apart from your misconflation of the umlaut and my beloved dieresis, it appears I have good cause to disagree with your assessment of the issue on the whole.

2. In today's final class of Constitutional Law, the antepenultimate class of the semester, all things considered, New York's most beautiful brainiac pulled out of his beltless, narrowly tailored pants a word which, according to my best sources, went into obsolescence a mere 676 years ago:

duree, dure, n.

[a. F. durée (12th c. in Hatz.-Darm.) duration, f. durer to endure.]

a. Power of endurance. b. Duration.

c1330 R. BRUNNE Chron. (1810) 16 {Th}e kynges folk was litelle, it had no dure. On the nyght he fled away, {th}at non suld him se.

(Rough translation? 'The few people who were there didn't stay around long, not long enough to see him leave.' Olde English scholars, please do correct me.)

Back on point. His usage of it grafted the French accent aiguille onto the "e" sound, though not with that "Look at me, I'm using a French word" navel-gazing that might well have been expected, but rather with a sort of "I'm saying this word as though it were spelled D-U-R-A-Y like in 'duration'." Thus I can infer that his intent was to use this word as though it were English in his response to my point that federalism is, for all intents and purposes, dead and that therefore, in interpreting the intent of Reconstruction Era-senators, it is most appropriate to do so with disregard for their desire to protect a structural entity which, as argued above, has long since gone by the wayside. Like, for instance, the English word duree.


3. Apr 23 Texas Rangers 2B Ian Kinsler (thumb), working out in Arizona with a dislocated thumb, has started taking batting practice in a swimming pool, according to T.R. Sullivan of (Emphasis added)

Why, pray tell, is he taking batting practice in a swimming pool?

Friday, April 21, 2006

it's in the computer

I have realized that the law school lockers all carry small labels indicating that their steel bodies were manufactured in Youngstown, Ohio. I imagine some law professor years ago who got appointed to the Works Committee over his strident obligations chuckling to himself in his office as he ticked them off on the catalog order sheet.